#hatnothate: The Peace of Mind Hat

As I sat here designing and redesigning my hat for #hatnothate again and again, I could not help but think of my own youth and the times I have been bullied. It’s hard, really, to not think of those times when the subject comes up. I am, however, thankful, when I hear the horror stories of others that my own experiences with bullying were rather mild in comparison. Nonetheless, no matter the mildness of the bullying, it should not go unnoticed, overlooked, ignored, and, possibly most importantly, never treated as fault of the person who is being bullied. Regarding the latter, I hear the phrase “you need to toughen up” so often…too often. Perhaps it is true that some “will never make it in this world if they don’t get thicker skin”, but what a horrible world we live in if that is the absolute case and there is no reason it should be that way!

In my own youth, I came across children you no longer wanted to be friends with me because I was “weird” or because I cried about getting my good clothes dirty because I feared my mother’s reaction—I was labeled a cry baby and told that no one would be my friend because of it. This was of course all in elementary school. By the time I reached middle, I encountered the misfortune of the real life version of the telephone game where you tell someone one thing and by the time it gets down the line, the person you hear it retold has a very different or twisted version of what you said originally. I was nearly beaten up over that one—just got shoved and pinned up against the girls’ bathroom wall with a threatening fist in my face. Somehow I managed to explain the situation and convinced the other girl that what she heard was not what I had said. She at least listened to me. I know others have not been so fortunate to have their bullies listen.

It frightens me to no end, now that my daughter is beginning first grade. I worry about her encounters with bullying. It can begin so early. She has already begun to encounter some forcefulness from a friend, telling her she cannot play with anyone else but this friend. My daughter has actually hid from this girl to try to get a chance to play with someone else at recess. It breaks my heart. In her favor, she is a very strong, confident, and independent girl. However, I do know that the more you experience bullying the more it can break down your confidence. I can only hope that with our active presence in her life, we can help her overcome these obstacles.

I can go on and on about bullying, as I know many others could. We have all encountered bullying in some form—even the bullies themselves have been bullied. Whether it is from family or friends or acquaintances, bullying happens in many forms. Something I realized recently, as I witnessed an encounter my daughter had with someone we know well, is that some bullies don’t even realize they are bullies. They think they are being cute or funny when in reality they are being mean, demeaning the other with insensitive words.

We must think before we speak. Try to understand who and why someone might be hurt by the things we say and do. We must create a peace of mind around us to help improve the world—hate only begets hate.

This is why I made this hat, for my daughter, for myself, for all of you! Please take this pattern and make it with love and confidence that you are loved and not the only one out there. We can help each other be better, be stronger, be a peacemaker.

Yarns: Bernat Dazzle Blue Sky Shine and Caron Simply Soft Dark Country Blue

Pattern:

Yarns: 1 ball Bernat Dazzle in Blue Sky Shine and Caron Simply Soft in Dark Country Blue

Hook: 8mm (US 11) and 4.5mm (US H-8)
Other Materiels: large eyed embroidery needle, scissors, tools typically used for making pompom (5” wide cardboard with slit cut out halfway in center is useful or just your hand)

Terms:
CH = chain
dc= double crochet
hdc = half double crochet
sl st = slip stitch
st = stitch

Magic circle = wrap yarn around center fingers with end tail by thumb and joining ball toward ring finger, keeping the latter wrap toward back of hand and first string at front. Slide hook under 1st string between pointer and middle finger then over top of back string, hooking it and pulling it under 1st string. Slightly twist as you pull it up and remove from hand. Chain and st around the circle needed amount. Then pull end tail to tighten circle.

Starting with Bernat yarn
R1: Magic Circle (if unfamiliar with the magic circle, using a starting chain of 4 and moving directly to the hdc works also) leaving a long tail for knotting to pompom later, ch 2, hdc 11 around the circle, sl st at top of ch2.

R2: Ch3, dc into same st, 2dc in next st, 2dc in each st to starting ch, sl st to ch3 to join. (24dc)

R3: CH3, dc into same st, *dc in next , 2 dc in next st, Repeat from * to starting chain, join with sl st. (36dc)

R4: CH3, dc into same st, *dc in next 2 sts , 2 dc in next st, Repeat from * to starting chain, join with sl st. (48dc)

*For Larger Hat: Add an additional row of dc increases–Ch3, dc into same st, *dc in next 3 sts, 2 dc in next st, Repeat from * to starting ch, join with sl st.

R6: Ch2, hdc in next st, continue hdcs to end, join with sl st

R7: Ch3, dc in next st, continue dcs to end, join with sl st.

R8-13: Repeat rows 6 & 7.
*At end of R7, when joining with sl st, bring Caron Simply Soft (CSS) yarn on hook with the Bernat to join.

R14: With both yarns on hook, Ch2, hdc to end, join with sl st.

R15: Dropping the Bernat yarn from hook, keeping the CSS on, Ch1, sc in same st, sc to end, join with sl st and fasten off.

PomPom (optional)
Make a pompom using the Caron Simply Soft Dark Country Blue.

Using preferred tool, cut an 18” long yarn from CSS, drape in middle of slit as shown in figure for the tail and fastener. Taking yarn from ball, begin to wrap it around the cardboard in the opposite direction of the tail yarn. Wrap around until desired thickness (I stopped around ¼” to ½” thick). Taking tail yarn, fasten it around the center of wrapped area, knotting it several times. You may want to slip it off the cardboard before making first knot to make it tighter. Cut both ends of looped yarn and trim around for neater pompom look.

Using large eyed needle, thread the tails of pompom through center hole at top. Tie in knot with tail from start of magic circle. Thread in all ends.

Peace Symbol:
I did each as a separate peace to get the best result of evenness of circle. Then used fabirc to stick it and a few stitches to give extra security.

Outer Circle: Using Caron Simply Soft Country Blue and size 4.0mm hook, Ch52, join circle with sl st. Ch1, sc in same st, sc to end. Fasten off.

Inner Center line: Ch16, Fasten off.

Center Cross lines: Ch 10, FAsten off.

Glue down circle. I like the look of the center line on top, so I carefully lined up the center line first gluing the top portion down a little, then placed the cross line underneath with glue and finished gluing the top center line. I put a book on top to keep it fast down on the hat while it dried. Once dried I added a few stitches around to secure it more. Sew in all the ends. You may either attach to center of hat using embroidery thread or with fabric glue or both for extra security.

I hope this hat helps bring more awareness and peace of mind to all!